Screwed.edu
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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