remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize