BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I have post one night stand depression
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