She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
