he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
