i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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