How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Mom said you looked used
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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