So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
