; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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