Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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