They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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