it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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