i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
