Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
