Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
