I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
