Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
