i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
