I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
