I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
