just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
