Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize