oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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