keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
