Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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