i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
