oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
