How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize