Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize