I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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