WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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