my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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