Im at strip club and am horny
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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