What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Never underestimate the power of titties
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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