Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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