tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
