belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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