I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
