wakey wakey hands off snakey
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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