Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
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