I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
