cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
