she was so not down for the gang bang
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
