Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
