I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
