I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
