you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
