with your own penis?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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