Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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