She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
