Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
