glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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