So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
