after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
