In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize