1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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