I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
