Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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