You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
