My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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