Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
