i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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