I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
