Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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