Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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