Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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