hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
